Screen Free Week at our house….didn’t go the way I expected

I was excited to participate in it.  I love the idea of a digital detox….But, since our kids usually see just one show each day, I didn’t expect it to make a huge difference in our home.  I expected to have calmer, more peaceful kids (which I got), but I also expected to get way behind on all those not-kid-friendly tasks I usually try (quite hurriedly!) to knock out during my 30 minutes of “kid-free” time each day.  I have to admit, I was dreading the week after Screen Free Week, when I’d have to catch up on all those chores, un-made phone calls and un-answered emails!

But something miraculous happened in the middle of all that screenless fun.  The week ended, and you know what?  I’m not behind on my weekly chores or jobs.  Laundry isn’t piled up in some room waiting to be put away.  Mold didn’t take over the kitchen sink and I didn’t get fired for my terrible work ethic.   Somehow, I had more time and got more accomplished than I normally do, and felt much less stress about getting it done.  I still played with the kids, and we had great fun….

But they also began to play without me…peacefully…for hours on end.

Several times during the week, I was astonished to look at a clock and realize I had not heard from either of my children in a couple of hours.  I could see them playing right outside the window, but they were so engrossed in what they were doing, and really getting along – getting along so well they didn’t need a mama hovering nearby to help diffuse arguments.

They also didn’t need anyone to give them ideas about how to play.

I try to make it a habit not to ‘entertain’ the kids all the time.  I believe in giving them lots of opportunities to solve their own boredom with creativity – but during Screen Free Week, I hardly had the opportunity to push this little soap box of mine at all.  They were so tapped into their own creativity, they were no longer coming to me to ask me what they could do, and they completely forgot to ask if they could “watch a show” (a question I’m used to fielding 2 or 3 times a day.)

We still made a point to play together, but it was almost always the case that I was simply invited in to join a game they had invented or go on a scavenger hunt they had created.

There were strings tied to sticks with magnets, a fishing game for metal objects under the bed.  There were index cards set strategically around the house with arrows pointing me to a hidden treasure.  There were mud pies….Oh, there were mud pies!  It’s not that these things aren’t normal at our house, they are.  But this week, that they happened with such ease.  There were none of those moments when I had to explain that we would not be watching a show and it was time to think of something else to do.

I was right about one thing with regards to the week – I knew my kids’ well-being (and therefore their behavior) would improve…

But I was completely surprised that the week also might make life easier for me.

Did anyone else experience this? Did you find the week to be more or less stressful?  I’d love to hear your stories.

Thanks very much to our friends at Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood for sponsoring this great event.

Traci lives in the Austin, TX area with her husband and two little boys.  You can visit her blog, Educated for Love, or see the visual daily rhythm charts she makes at A Kid’s Day.

Once our oldest son turned four, there was a birthday party to attend most every Saturday.

It’s fun but can also be quite overwhelming, whether you’re the hostess going over every detail or the guest worrying about what to buy the classmate who already has everything.

There is a school of thought that encourages guests not to bring presents. The point of that is driven home every time I gasp at the molded plastic fantasyland my family room periodically becomes. Still, I have no inclination to write, “P.S. Your presence is your gift” on my children’s birthday party invitations.

In a world where giving and receiving gifts is often a gesture of hospitality and a practice in graciousness and good manners, I want my children to have experience in both. Any extremes can be mollified with some forethought and gentle but firm parental intervention.

Herewith, my top tips for surviving children’s birthday parties (your own or someone else’s):

1. Sort toys before your child’s party. You can do this on your own when they’re sleeping which I recommend if you think there will be lots of, “I forgot about this!” (children are natural hoarders, I’ve read). If you have anywhere near the toy room of the average American family, they’ll only notice that their favorite toys now need only be reached for – not unearthed.

2. Discard broken toys or games with missing pieces. Pass on or store away (in a labeled box, in the attic) toys that they’ve outgrown.

3. Organize everything categorically to encourage imaginative play. The original container will do, as will plastic storage bins and even cardboard boxes. In our home, we have bins for Tinker Toys and Gears, Lincoln Logs, Cars, Play Food, and Giant Toys (Buzz Lightyear and larger trucks). There is a shelf for games, another for puzzles, and one for creative play (paints, Play-Doh, pipe cleaners, etc.).

4. Make it a habit: Have your child write the thank you note before they’re allowed to play with the new gift.

5. When there is a veritable inundation of new things (as at Christmastime – my parents tend to really indulge them), store some away for homebound days. Your future self will thank you.

6. Before going shopping for someone else, give this speech: “We are going to (ToyMart) because (Max’s) birthday is coming up. We are not buying for ourselves today, so please do not ask me when we’re in the toys section. Let’s think about what (he) might like on our ride in and have fun picking something out.”

7. If your children are not forthcoming about what their friends might like (or don’t know them well enough to really say), you can always call or email the parent and ask. This is a very modern idea and perhaps not very tasteful to some, but it’s made my life easier on occasion.

8. That said, avoid the birthday party gift registry. It just doesn’t seem very polite (and might give you a reputation for being greedy).

I really want to know: What are your birthday party thoughts and tips?

Rayna St. Pierre is a wife, mother, language enthusiast (speaks fluent Spanish!), and writer. She is passionate about her pursuit of a simple life with and for her children.  You can follow more of her writing at Bright Copper Kettles, her blog dedicated to celebrating days of simplicity, economy, elegance, and ease.

We have a very simple rule in our house about television or computers.

Of course, like all rules, this gets broken from time to time. It gets broken on the occasions when I’ve been working all day and my husband has had a busy day full of child care and he is cooking dinner (yes he is a home husband).  I come home and the children are watching the television. What I know when I find them there is my husband needs some time out.  I don’t bemoan him or berate him for breaking our rule, I simply find a good moment with the children to switch the programme off and ask them what they have been watching and then find another activity to do with them.

I’ve tried the heavy handed “Switch that thing off NOW !” and it can guarantee some screams, clearly doesn’t work – so a more gentle “When will this programme end? okay let’s give it five more minutes..” and then it’s over. And although I don’t want them to watch TV ever, we are lucky in the UK that we have a very simple (by children’s TV standards) channel called CBEEBIES that even an anti TV mom isn’t too offended by…

The computer is another thing altogether…namely because I try to work from home a lot and a lot of my work (like writing blog posts!) is done at a computer…I’m clearly modeling laptop behaviour that my children (they are 5 and 9) are commenting on. “Mummy’s ALWAYS at the computer…” Naturally they want to see what I’m up to. So I’ve let them sit on my lap or next to me on the couch and we’ve looked at pictures or short videos and I’ve let them play a few games. I have broken my own rule many times.

So I’ve modified the rule – no television or computers during term time. Then, in the holidays, they can sit with me (I use Luminosity to play games which apparently improves your brain agility ! Who knows, I can feel as dumb as ever when it comes to raising children !)

Screen free is scream free because we have set rules we all honour and so they generally don’t scream when I switch screens off. They don’t scream and ask for screen time. They really don’t expect it, they are incredibly self-reliant and can make up all sorts of games with a few bits and pieces and tons of imagination. I notice how alive they are to their natural creative playfulness. I sometimes observe other children and how they seem to lack active imaginations, I wonder if there are any studies looking at playfulness and creativity levels in children who have a lot of screen time compared with those who don’t?

We are happy in our generally screen free home and I am glad we make the choices we do to keep the TV and computer off. I would encourage any families out there to give it a try…

Kathy White lives in Findhorn, Scotland and is a Simplicity Parenting Group leader. She works with parents and children all over the world both online and in her travels offering parenting events. She is a qualified Art Therapist offering creative parenting solutions and a Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie, a tool for transforming stressful thinking. More details on www.joyfulparents.co.uk

My family will be going Screen-Free from April 30-May 6 and we want you to join us!

What is Screen Free Week?

Most of us grew up with televisions in our homes and their presence in our living rooms feels completely normal. But times have certainly changed since we were young, and children’s media usage is at an all-time high.  According to The Nielsen Company’s research, the average preschooler spends 32 hours in front of screens each week.

The number sounds astonishing, but let’s imagine what it might actually look like in our own homes. We’re talking about an average of 4 ½ hours each day. Maybe the average family turns on 2 shows in the morning as everyone is just waking up. Then they go about their day. Perhaps they turn on the television again in the afternoon, say another 2 shows after nap. Maybe there is 1 more show or a game while parents are making dinner. Before you know it, your preschooler has watched 32 hours of television throughout the week- the equivalent of a part-time job.

But I think preschoolers have a much more important job to do– that of being a child.  Of playing, running, climbing, imagining and adventuring.  Of hearing stories read aloud and painting pictures.  Of helping in the kitchen or outside in a garden.  Of feeling loved and important, connected with no distractions.

Whether your kids are racking up the hours, or not even close to average, Screen Free Week gives us all a chance to look at our own families and our own viewing habits.

So just for fun today, count ‘em up! How many hours are your children entertained by something on a screen each day? How many hours do you spend in front of a screen? Write it down, notice the patterns and the times of day you use screens the most. Then tally it up for the week. How do you feel about the number? Do you think you could swap an hour or two for a different kind of family connection?

I’ll be back in this space throughout the days leading up to Screen Free Week, with more about my own family’s media experiment and tips to help you embrace seven days, unplugged! Stay tuned…

Allison Abramson is a wife, a mother of two little girls and a Simplicity Parenting Group Leader, honored to support Rhode Island families seeking deeper connections to their loved ones and more fun everyday. You can read more by joining her at her personal blog, http://www.allisonabramson.com/

A giraffe threw a temper tantrum on my kitchen floor last week.

Now, this wasn’t just any giraffe.  This giraffe is “Baby.”   My two year-old’s baby, to be specific.  My son loves to give Baby rides in his wagon or on his tricycle.  He sleeps with it, runs to help it when he sees it endangered, and carries it tucked in the crook of his neck, sweetly rubbing its back and telling it what a “cute baby” it is.  This giraffe-boy relationship is easily one of the sweetest things I’ve ever witnessed as his mom.

I was cooking dinner when my little one came in and pointed out the place where his Baby was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor.  “He’s MAD, mama.  He’s yelling LOUD.  He’s very mad.”  I could see my son was distressed by his little giraffe’s fit of anger.  I asked what he thought he could do for Baby.  He stared at the giraffe for a few moments, then a gentle smile spread across his face.  He went to “Baby”, picked it up, and then hugged it tightly and rocked it until saying, “Baby’s all bettah now.”

…Since reading Simplicity Parenting, I’ve tried more and more to use “the Compassionate Response” with the similar emotional outbursts that happen with my boys.  I’m trying to focus less on punishment or guilt and more on what deep needs they are trying to express, and how we can meet that need.  Often I realize that lack of sleep or an out-of-the-ordinary busy schedule has brought on some soul fever or quirky behavior.  More often, I see a little guy who really just wants his mama’s attention!

But here’s the thing – I don’t always get it right.  In fact, often I don’t.  Sometimes I really don’t know what need is driving my son’s behavior, and sometimes I can’t think of the best way to guide him.  Sometimes my compassion runs a little thin.  And I wonder if I’m really doing such a wonderful job at all.  But, like all of us, I try.

My two year old’s response to his giraffe’s little “tantrum” encouraged me, and, I think, should encourage us all.  There are no perfect parents.  We may not have the right response every time.  But as we move towards a position of compassion with our kids, our little ones tune in to that.  They see what’s at the heart of our actions.  Perfect or not, the intention comes through loudly and clearly.

Maybe the most encouraging idea of all is to picture the compassion-filled adults these little ones will one day be.  I can only imagine my two year old one day as a daddy, as a husband, as a friend to someone who needs his help.  Let us all be encouraged to continue sharing compassion, knowing our kids see through our imperfections, straight to our hearts.  Every time we model compassion to them, we can be sure we are building a strong sense of empathy in them that will bless them and many others.

To look at the first question, What was the child eating? If the child’s weight was from being given access to the “wrong” foods; too many sugary, fatty, complex, over produced, over processed foods,  then surely the SIMPLE version is not to limit those items but rather remove them all together.   We have a simple food buying rule in our house. What is good food for kids? It doesn’t take a nutritional scientist to realize that saying no to biscuits, cookies, cakes, chocolate, crisps, potato chips, processed foods is a good idea. So in our family, the rule of thumb is none are purchased.  That’s it.  Ice cream is an exception and offered as a treat when we have guests and serve desert and pizza’s are always homemade. And when on holiday, visiting friends, birthday parties we do let rules of thumb fall away, I don’t become fanatical about enforcing healthy eating as what I see happening is my children have their own natural tendency for good food from our daily rhythm which stays with them when rhythms are interrupted.

And for our day to day rhythm, we have plenty of fresh fruit, fresh homemade bread, rice cakes, dried fruit (they love mango), nuts. We serve simple food: vegetables (raw sliced carrots, peppers, peas unshelled, plum tomatoes, celery) before each meal as a starter so they are eaten before the pasta, baked potato or whatever else is coming for the main meal.

We have adopted a seven day Meal Plan as advocated in Simplicity Parenting, which has saved loads of time, money, and arguments and has created a lot more peace around mealtimes for all of us. I didn’t think we could do it – hating routine – but I would recommend it to anyone !

My second question is one of activity. The mother who put her child on a diet lived in New York City. I imagine not the kind of place that a parent could happily open the back door and let the child run off to the park without adult supervision. The obvious alternatives at home involve a lot less physical activity. Sitting in front of TV, computers etc for children limits their natural physical development.

The third question was to look at  the underlying causes of her child’s weight problem.  Was there a possible soul fever? What levels of distress did the child suffer from that caused her to gain weight?  I wonder if overweight kids are perhaps just as much a problem of today because children have discovered that eating is a way to deal with stress?   Yes, I do believe that children can emotionally over-eat, just as adults can.  I have seen it myself. I used to have a little boy come for play dates and it would go something like this:  ”When is my mummy coming to pick me up?” Answer: “She’ll be here in an hour, shall we play ( game) , or do (activity)? ”   Response:  ”Can we have more snack?” And this was after we had just finished a snack in  the last hour.   I noticed the pattern after quite a number of times and it always came after he was upset (maybe the game had gone wrong) or worried (wanting to know when his mother was coming).

Any parent who wonders “Does my Child Need A Diet?” might be tempted to go that route.

The answer for me lies in the fact is that food is such a complicated issue. And it needs simplifying. If I can notice how I use food to bribe my children for behaviour…if you eat your dinner I will give you the chocolate.  Here’s a treat because I want you to know I love you.  You are a good child so you deserve something sugary and unhealthy. Of course I want to know my children are nourished (on all levels). One very concrete and tangible level to see my children getting nourishment is with food. But this makes me depend on seeing them eat in order to know they are nourished. I can therefore think at least they ate something even if it was an unhealthy few potato chips and some cake.  I know it took me a long time to relax when my child would not eat dinner and trust they would eat an apple, banana or carrot when they gained their appetite back.

My own simple food “diet” has been to look at my huge amount of stressful thoughts about diet, eating, healthy food, nourishment for both myself and my children, and to try and reduce those thoughts and digest them differently.   Questioning and examining my food thoughts  and adopting a more simple and peaceful approach to food has created mealtimes that are a lot more peaceful and have become joyful times of connection for our family.

Kathy White

Kathy White lives in Findhorn, Scotland and  is a Simplicity Parenting Group leader.  She works with parents and children all over the world online and in her travels offering parenting events. She is also a qualified Art Therapist offering creative parenting solutions and a Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie, a tool for transforming stressful thinking.  More details on  www.joyfulparents.co.uk

It seems we are always searching for the “magic pill”to
miraculously move our family into peaceful nirvana.

But the fact is, parenting and daily rhythm is a process;
a work in progress. You will never be “done” or “perfect”

O.K. Now the good news:
There are a few tips to help move you from exasperated to
centered. They are not magic, but they are not hard either.
Simple tools- if you use them.Choose one to start with,
then add more when you
see some success.

*Get up before your kids. Yes, you have heard me say this many times.
You have heard it elsewhere I am sure. The affect this will have on your day
can be immense. Taking those first early moments for yourself before hungry
mouths are begging for food can be a sanity saver. Try it, tomorrow if possible.

*Plan for the next day. Not a lengthy to-do list, but 2-3 main things you want
to accomplish. I find this really helps me with envision how the day should flow.
Put on the list only things you absolutely must do. Don’t worry if you think nothing
else will get done, fires always pop-up and this way you have some breathing room.

*Moment of Pause. Take a mindful moment sometime during your day to breathe.
We get so caught up in all the doing, we forget to step back and notice our being.
Take just a few minutes to look around and get your bearings can bring you back
on track to where you want to be.

*Quiet Time. For everyone in the household. It is a great rhythm to have
in the afternoons. The earlier you begin this the better. When nap time stops,
you can still have a quiet time looking through books or soft toys. As they get older,
it is a nice break from siblings and a chance for some reading and just being alone.
You take a break as well. Knit or read or look through a magazine, yoga.
Find something creative that re-charges you.

*Gauge the Day. I found I was was doing this automatically and it is a great skill.
Observe the energy of the day and make changes if necessary. So, if your kids have
been inside all morning and are starting to get wiggly, an outdoor break might be needed.
Or if things have crazy and you have been running, check the kids and see how they are “feel”.
They may be wound up and overstimulated and need down time. This is vital to avoid
meltdowns and out of control kiddos.

Any one of these tips can be tried and tweaked to your family and schedule.
So many times just a few small steps in the right the direction brings on the
confidence to keep moving forward.

Donna is the founder and CEO of The Waldorf Connection, an online resource that provides
workshops, courses, and coaching for homeschooling families all over the globe.
Donna wants to bring confidence, clarity and community to the homeschoolers who are seeking a
rhythmic, organized approach to their days.

As a homeschooling mother, entrepreneur, writer and coach, she knows the importance of daily balance
and is dedicated to helping others with this balance in their own lives. Donna is a certified Simplicity
Parenting Group Leader and studying Peace of Mind Parenting coach.

You can read more blog posts and information at:
http://thewaldorfconnection.com &
http://theparentingstudio.com

One way we’ve cut back on excess at our house (and hopefully increased the fun at our kid’s parties) is to to include a line on the invitation, “Your presence is your gift” – so that no one feels a gift is expected, and everyone can come and enjoy the fun, regardless of their budget or time constraints.  There are still certainly gift-giving occasions, and relatives sometimes have questions about what types of gifts are appropriate.

One of our Simplicity Parenting Group Leaders, Paula Hamma of California, recently shared these ideas about gift-giving and receiving.  I think they are so helpful for those wanting to set some boundaries, but who are intent on strengthening, not damaging, valued relationships with family members.

Paula offers these suggestions:

Have a Conversation
One of the hardest things for some parents is to discuss this with others, but if it is possible, it often brings a positive outcome – It grows the relationship and is such a good way to practice conversation skills.

• Explain that the child loves them because of who they are and the time they spent together, not because of the gifts they give.  They do not need to buy the love of the child, the child loves them already.  Children truly want us to give of ourselves.
• Share that you want your child to learn to be grateful for the simple things in life, because they are most wonderful.
• If the person has given you something you remember that was a simple gift or outing or special time together, share the story of it with them.

Give Direction

• Some parents prefer to provide catalogs containing simple, open-ended toys, (such as Nova Natural or  For Small Hands – which contain many simple and sturdy toy ideas for children.)  This can be helpful, but it is nice to explain that the catalog toys are just ideas, because some of those items are pretty pricey. Many items can be made from items already in the home.
• If the person is crafty, ask if they can make an item for the child.  Knitting a cap or scarf, sewing a dress for a dolly, building a wooden & wire mesh bug catcher,
• If the person enjoys nature, they can gather treasures – stumps/cut branches from the trees in the back yard, a ribbon-tied bunch of fresh flowers, a cutting from a favorite plant, a basket full of acorns/shells/pinecones etc.  …It’s even better when the gift is an invitation to gather the items together.
• Ask for a treasured toy form their childhood.

 Create a Collection

• Classic book collection – a favorite book from their childhood, or a fairy tale collection, mother goose collection, animal fable collection.
• Toy kitchen collection – real items found in their own home – shot glasses, tea cups, small spoons, linen cocktail napkins, small plates, old teapot, small pots and pans, etc.
• Marble collection
• Share a wishlist from the child of items you will not mind if the child plays with occasionally.

Create Memories

• Create a family memory book – provide paper and ask them to write a memory of when they were the child’s age, when the parent was the child’s age, what they love to do right now, what they loved to do when they were a child, their favorite place on earth, memory of a family vacation, etc.
• For both of these ideas, if the person is artistic, ask them to draw pictures to go with the stories.
• Create family pictures books – ask for pictures of when they were the same age of the child or favorite pictures they have of them with the child.

Get Practical

If your child is very interested in something or in doing a sport or activity that is expensive, ask for others to donate items or contribute towards the fees for the activity. This might include special clothes or shoes for a child very interested in fashion, sports/activity equipment or team fees. This way your child does get the “treat” of something special that you may not be able to afford.

Children’s Parties

Create a culture amongst your friends that birthday parties are to be enjoyable children’s events. We set the tone for this with the first birthday we plan for our child. Ask parents to have their child make something – children love baking for friends, or mixing up a batch of finger paints or aromatic play dough.  You may also ask that children share a treasure (a beautiful stone, acorn, flower from the garden, etc.) rather than purchasing a present.

…And finally, the only one that really ever works 100% of the time:

Give up! Stop trying to change everyone else and just set the boundaries for your family.

Realize that the giver gives a gift out of love and wanting to give you enjoyment.

Accept the gift with love and gratitude.

Be sure you are honoring the giver – if the gift does not bring you happiness and instead gives you a sense of dread or obligation then focus on honoring the intent of the giver.

1) If the intent was to give the giver happiness and you accepted it gratefully, then the intent has been fulfilled
and the item is no longer necessary – pass it on.

2) If the intent was to bring you happiness, then do whatever makes you happy with the gift!

Things want to be useful, so make the item happy by becoming useful rather than shoved in the back of your already too full shelf! Give it to someone who will use it and you’ll also bring happiness to the other person which also honors the intent of the giver!

If your child gets an inappropriate toy and your boundaries are pretty clear, your child will know immediately it will not be a toy that is going to be around your home for long and sometimes, children do not even want the toy.

We teach our son to be grateful and express gratitude for the gift…even if he does not like it. Then., later, we either say, “play with it all you want for the next week and then we are going to pass it on (although I kind of feel bad giving toys we don’t want to others to deal with!), or we give him an opportunity to donate/sell back the toy and get money to put in his bank account for it, or we offer an opportunity for him to exchange the item at the store for something he really wants.

Paula is the mother of two charming little boys.  She is a Simplicity Parenting group leader, and for the past few years has also led mother-to-mother support groups as a volunteer for an international non-profit organization.  Paula feels deeply fortunate to have  embraced Simplicity Parenting because of the profound impact it has made on her family life.

Recently I did something, as a mother, that was incredibly daring.

I let her walk four blocks to her friend’s house for a play date. Without me. Alone.

After years of walking the route again and again, she knows it better than me. I couldn’t tell you how many blue doors are between our house and theirs. How many driveways and dogs, or backyards with trampolines. But she can.

Thinking about that route, I found myself remembering how, when I was five, I was trusted to walk to and from school everyday — twice, because I went home for lunch. Why couldn’t my six-year-old make it four blocks to her friend’s?

We reviewed the essentials: phone numbers, her address, what to do in case she DID find herself lost. When I called to tell the other mom about her little adventure, there was a short period of silence on the phone. I started to think maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. “Get her to call me as soon as she gets there, OK?” I asked, hoping it would make everything sound better. “She’s walked that way 1,000 times. She knows what to do.” Seconds of silence felt like an eternity.

“We did it. Remember? I even walked to school on my own — when I was five.”

Agreement came quickly then, my last comment offering a way back into the conversation for this woman. “Yes, I guess we did.” And then I was reminded of how much we did at that age. We climbed trees so high we could see over houses, we crossed small rivers, dug out icy caves in the winter, ran through the forest and built forts. All without our parents’ knowledge or, at very least, out of their sight.

No, she could do this. And she did. The power went out in our home moments after she shouted a brave, “Bye mom!” and slammed the front door. I waited about 10 minutes before I picked up the phone and tried to call her friend’s house. But it was dead.

Ah, life will always throw you a curveball when you least expect it. I waited another five minutes before piling my youngest in the van and cruised through the neighbourhood. She was there. She was fine. And she had the biggest smile on her face.

“Guess what I did, mom?!”

“Tell me,” I said with a big grin.

“I walked here all on my own!”

It was like she had learned to walk, ride her two-wheeler, and jump off the diving into the deep end all at once. I wouldn’t take that away from her for anything.

Kirsten Andrews offers Simplicity Parenting courses throughout the Sea to Sky Corridor. For more information visit www.SeaToSkySimplicityParenting.com or email her at kirsten@seatoskysimplicityparenting.com