“TOO MUCH, TOO FAST, TOO SOON” CREATES STRESS FOR KIDS – Press Release
Simplify Your Child’s Life, says internationally recognized author & counselor Family counselor Kim John Payne says that when he would take on a new client, he would offer them a year of therapy or have him spending just one day at their house. “Many of today’s behavioral issues come from children having too much stuff and living a life that is too fast. I would visit from breakfast to bedtime, I helped the parents simplify their routines and lives and very often the parents see an improvement their child’s behavior within days,” says Payne.
“Our children are living in the undeclared war on childhood.”
Payne asserts that many of today’s child behavior problems comes from TMS – Too Much Stuff. “All children are quirky, that’s what makes them lovable, who they are. But these cumulative stresses slide those quirks along the behavior spectrum into disorders – the dreaded “Ds”. Simplicity Parenting is a way to slide the child back down the spectrum. They go from having
a label back to being lovable and quirky.”
Payne has traveled through Asia and Africa helping families devastated by AIDS or war. He says children in western countries have many of the same stresses – but for the opposite reasons. “There is not a lot of difference between how kids over stressed are acting in parts of Asia and Africa. “The children in the developing world often have had negative sensory overwhelm, and we give our children sensory overwhelm here – too many trinkets, too many choices, too much information – and this causes a cumulative stress issue in kids that leads to behavioral disorders.” “Our children are living in the undeclared war on childhood.”
“It’s about warmth and connecting… everything becomes easier”
Payne will help parents at the talk create their own Simplicity Menu for their family, breaking it down into five layers: Simplify the environment (books, toys etc), meal times and food, schedules and information. He asks that parents see childhood as an unfolding experience, not an enrichment opportunity. “If it is an enrichment opportunity, then we’re in an arms race, trying to get the most for our child. This is fundamentally a con, and not healthy.
“He adds that children respond well to this approach. “You choose whatever fits naturally in your family life. When a family simplifies, the kids love it. It’s not a battle. We think kids will put up resistance but they don’t; they like it.”
“It’s about warmth and connecting. In simplifying parenting we get closer to our children, they no longer have to fight for our attention, everything becomes easier and it is actually achieved by doing less.
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