There are a few standout moments as a parent, and some of them are seemingly simple little exchanges
that tell us that something is going on.

Mary McAuthur, a parent of an 11 year-old daughter comments, “It was no big deal really, but I remember the day
so clearly that my daughter melted down because I wouldn’t let her read Seventeen Magazine.” Mary took this step after reading through the magazine and its contents. “It was so dramatically inappropriate and sexually suggestive that I was speechless that my daughter and her friends would feel so strongly about it.”

David Sherman a parent of a 12 year-old boy comments, “He would demand to not be treated like a little child but I knew he was not capable of handling all the teen stuff.”

“My 15 year old gets so frustrated. I know with my head that more and more it’s his life to lead and his consequences to face but, my heart still knows that he needs me,” says Michelle Johansson.

“I’ve seen other parents struggle with giving their older kids boundaries that work. I need to think about this before my children are that age.” Taylor Donatello, mother 6 year-old twins.

In these recorded sessions we balance developing a deeper understanding with practical strategies of raising 10 -18 year-olds.  The themes for these sessions are:

SESSION ONE:
The Overview: The Big Picture
Being able to transition. The right discipline and
guidance for the right phase.
Brain based developmental picture.
An overview of the three stages of discipline…
- Earlier Years. The Governor.
“I will decide.”
- Elementary Years. The Gardener.
“What’s your plan and I will decide”
- The Teen Years. The Guide.
“Tell me about your hopes, aims and will correct if you move off
course.”

The myth of disobedience and the reality of disorientation.
The themes…
- Understanding why tweens and teens challenge boundaries.
- How can discipline become a definer of family values rather
than be punitive.
- How discipline is so strongly connected to “disciple-ness”. To be
worthy of being followed.
- How to orient yourself and feel centered and sure in your
discipline and guidance.
- How to orient your tween or teen in a warm, calm and firm way.
- Push back. The role of slowing down life and its discipline benefits
- Rhythm and predictability to ease “discipline flash points.”

SESSION TWO
Breaking it Down: Understanding the Small Stages
Preparation, 10-12
The Huck and Pippi Years
- Preparing for the birth of adolescence
- A time of excitement but also an unsettling time
- On the cusp. Not yet a teenager but not a little child
- Break outs & boundaries.

Negation: The “No” Years. 13-14
A time of…
- Delicate and vulnerable feelings
- Inner longing for beauty and perfection
- Unfulfilled expectations – Cynicism
- Vacillate between adult and child
- Subjectivity
- Inner seclusion
- Role identity (i.e. a skater, a sporty type, etc)

Turning Point, 15-16
A time of…
- Duality
Stillness – Intense activity
Cruelty – Compassion
Longing to be alone -Needing to Belong
Demanding Change – Needing Stability
- Soul Mates
- Friends and crushes
- Role Models

Affirmation, 17-18
A time of…
- Cultivating the difference between critical thinking and criticism
- Broadening perspective
- Developing independent values
- Idealism – disappointment
- Wanting to find a “values based” world

SESSION THREE:
Coming of Age.
We will explore…
- Freedoms and responsibilities. How can we build this balance for
our kids?
- The stages of traditional initiation ceremonies and how we can learn from
these dynamics and use them in guiding peer relationship?
- Building and maintaining meaningful relationship as a new form of
initiation and the dangerous pseudo rituals if this is missing.
- What is the new “eldering” needed from adults?

SESSION FOUR:
Power of the Peer Group…“But they are my friends!”
- Exploring the structure.
Where do they meet?
Who maintains and rewards them?
What gives them cohesiveness?
How are they seen by adults?
- And looking deeper…
How do they come about?
What are the individual roles within a peer group?
- How to stay engaged and yet not trespass with your teen’s peers group.
- How to shift the dynamic if it becomes unhealthy.

SESSION FIVE:
Understanding Risk Taking & Experimentation.
We will explore…
- The differences between young male and female risk taking behavior.
- Family values as a key definer in levels of acceptable risk taking.
- The deeper needs of the developing “sense of self”.
- Holding your tween or teen accountable without blaming.
- Discussing the concept of “exit point” or “back out point” when the risks
are unhealthy.
- Putting it right. Agreeing the consequence ahead of time.
- Meeting the deeper need via connecting with the wider community.

SESSION SIX:
Emerging Sexual Identity and How to Work With It
We will explore…
- How sexual identity is not isolated but a part of the whole sense of identity.
- Early sexualization. Why it happens and what can be done about it.
- How to have “the” conversation based on the principles of the
Four Types of Love…
1. Eros. Desire based love
2. Philos. Friendship based love
3. Charitas. Caring based love
4. Agape. Love that is limitless
- How parents can help tweens and teens calibrate friendships and not expect
too little or too much.

SESSION SEVEN:
When Push Comes To Love – When Things Go Wrong
We will learn…
- How to know if your tween or teen is not yet ready for all the tween and teen
world open up.
- How to sensibly dial back our own, and the wider communities expectations.
- “Oh no is it all too late?”
The developmental discipline rescue package
How to handle a tween or teen behaving badly via the simplicity of the
Governor – Gardener – Guide Principle

SESSION EIGHT:
The Compassionate Response
- This practice teaches a way of shifting old reactive unhelpful habits in relating to
your children.
- It opens new ways of working with challenging behavior and in the real and
often difficult parenting moment allows you to embrace the “soul fever” and
open up a warm yet incisive response.
- The feedback we receive from parents is that through this practice “everything
is different” once it has been absorbed.
- It has proved to be the single most important change you can bring into your
discipline and guidance.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

LINK TO THE RECORDING:

Here is the link to sign-up for the recorded version of this course:

Cost is $159

If you have questions, please feel free to ask Todd Sarner,
Online Course Producer, Simplicity Parenting
todd@transformativeparenting.com

_____________________________________________________________________________________

WIRED CONNECTION:

Just like with the live course, it is strongly recommended you view these videos with a wired, high-speed internet connection whenever possible. Wireless connection can be choppy.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

THE PROCESS:

Here is a reminder of the process:

1- Sign up at this link: https://www.jigsawbox.com/signup/Simplicity Parenting/12364/20788