Hello, and welcome back to the Simplicity Diaries with me, Kim John Payne. You know, this week might be the shortest podcast in history, because it's really very basic. It's such a simple one, is that when we transition our kids, which is so often a problem spot, right? You know, we're having to transition them from one activity to another.
Do something yucky so that the transition, whatever you're going to, is yummy. Don't be doing something yummy, like the children playing a lovely game and they're warm and cozy, and then try and transition to getting in the car, which is kind of yucky for most kids. So, you know, basically do something that is not so great, and then if you're going to get into the car or you're going to come to the dinner table, have them be doing something right before dinner that is not going to cause them to push back really hard against leaving that activity and coming to the table.
I'm reminded of a teacher I visited years ago, who, you know, saw me smiling at something that he was doing, and what he did was that, and I was with him for a couple of days just observing, is that before he would do any of the more academic work, which the kids might groan, you know, like and complain, he would, for example, I remember one day watching him where he got them, it was a third grade, I think, eight, nine year olds, and he got them all tidying up their cubbies. And for this class, this was, you know, a hated job, and they're all complaining about having to clean it up. And then he transitioned them into math, said, Okay, you can finish now and come get your math books out.
And we'll do your practice work and what we're going to be doing today. And he described a little bit about the math. And my goodness, those children came willingly to their desks and got their math books out.
And he saw me smiling, and he kind of winked, you know, saying, Yep, that's how you do it. And it, obviously, it, it left a mark on me. It's I've never forgotten it.
Where, where so many of our issues, as parents arise, is are caused by by transitions. We know that, you know, it's a, it's just a regular hotspot, when we're trying to get kids, little kids, or even bigger ones, you know, nine, 10, 11, 12 year olds, we're just trying to get them to move on to the next thing, which we know we've got to do. So if you're trying to transition the children into a into another activity, let's say it's getting out the door, and it's putting coats on.
It's not a good activity at all to have them playing with their blocks. If they're little kids, I was talking to a couple of parents, actually, over the last couple of months, who this like a real light bulb went on for them, you know, and I said, Well, because they were telling me all about that, you know, difficult transitions. And I said to two or three of them, you know, what, what are you doing, you know, directly before, before you're making that change before you're transitioning? And one of them said, Well, we're, you know, playing blocks.
Another one said, Well, my older son or child, it likes to read. And another one talked about crafting activities. Okay, so I said, so you're taking them from crafting activities, blocks, books, into having to get dressed, you know, like, some of them that were like, even in pajamas, right? So there's a double transition, get dressed, and then get into the car.
And I said, Do you see the problem here? What could you do differently? What would be something that would make the transition, at least be neutral, if not great, you know, but the transition, not be horrible, the prospect of it. So we talked about things, for example, like doing a task, you know, doing some form of home care, or, or chore. Some people call it chore, I prefer to call it home care.
But we talked about, well, what could you what could you set up, you know, like, and we chatted about, well, maybe it's the it's the laundry and the folding of the clothes that we do. Or maybe, you know, it's it's the dishes, stacking the dishwasher, clearing the dishwasher, washing the dishes by hand, if you do it that way. And, and we came up with a number of just home care type of things.
So out of home care chores, then then comes the transition to getting in the car, because at least getting in the car means, means a kid can just sit there and not have to do the dishes, right? It's, it's just sort of fairly simple strategic thinking to, to make that kind of change in that kind of way. One parent, this is a month or two back, got back to me, this is in my, you know, private counseling practice, they got back to me, saying, we had to do a two step. And I said, What was that? And they said, Well, okay, so they're doing something nice.
So we don't transition into getting in the car. That's a that's a really big step. But they've got to be doing nice things in their lives, you know, of course.
And so what she did, was that she would transition the children from, from their play, into doing something just a little bit more warm. And I said, What did you do? And she said, Well, we they both of them are really like to, they're in a phase where they really do like to help me with food and food things. And they've got their own little round ended, but sharp knives, and they've got their own boards they cut with.
And so it's not quite as nice as as playing with their toys and dolls and such. But it's still it's still an easier transition. I said, Okay, so you went to that and said, Yeah.
And then we went to cleaning it up. And then we went to getting in the car. And I built that into a new rhythm.
It like all that stuff had to happen anyway. It's just that she ordered it really, it was so smart, right? She just ordered it in that way, with, with not trying to haul the kids out of something that was really warm and lovely, into something that was much less lovely. And I thought, gosh, that that is so, so smart.
But more than that, it's just, it's kind on everyone. And what occurred to me also, is that, and this is probably not lost on you listening to this, is that she moved in closer to her children, because they were playing, right? And so okay, so the end goal is getting in the car. But what she did is she drew them in closer to her and did an activity that that they kind of liked.
It wasn't their favorite thing, but it was doing it with their mum. So she drew them closer into her world, into the world that they shared together. And so then when there was more of a feeling of togetherness, of connection, then the transition to the car, and you know, getting coats and such on was much easier.
So that's, that's a transition tip that may well be helpful. And of course, again, don't forget, if you would like, like these parents I was talking about just now, like to brainstorm with me on a one to one basis, personally talking to me, don't hesitate, just go right to the Simplicity Parenting homepage, and you'll see request a consult with Kim. And that's a part of my, yeah, my counseling practice, which I love to do.
Anyway, this is didn't turn out to be the shortest podcast in history, but it is a really clear and simple message, right? Okay, bye bye for now.