Hello and welcome back to the Simplicity Diaries with me, Ken John-Payne. So glad you could carve out just this little 10-15 minute slot for a quick listen this week. I've been thinking about and discussing with a couple of parents actually, larger issues actually around anxiety, but reducing that down into some little helpful strategies.
One of those strategies, and you know, those of you who are regular listeners, viewers will have heard me talk before about previewing. Previewing is one of the key ways we can help a child know what's coming next. And when they know what's coming next, and then it happens, it's fundamentally soothing to the nervous system of a child.
Now I wanted to talk about for a younger child, almost until the age of 9, 10, how this can be done in a really elegant way that helps them, but actually also helps us as well. And this is what I call the story of tomorrow. Now the story of tomorrow really taps into this very primitive, very ancient need we have as human beings to have pictures.
It brings us into a different part of our being, a different part of our brain. And the story of tomorrow for a younger one can also apply to a slightly old one. Of course, it has to be voiced differently.
But the story of tomorrow is all about previewing pictorially. Now what I mean by this is that when we're talking to a child, perhaps after suppertime is a good time to do this, bedtime is another good time to do it, the story is, of course, it is looking at what's going to happen tomorrow, but it's putting it in a story form, you know, of course, as the name suggests. And it goes something like, yes, tomorrow, we're going to get up and that's right, we're going to have our scarecrow of clothes.
We always do that, don't we? Yes, that's right. We'll set those out tonight. We'll set all the clothes out tonight, we're going to wear tomorrow.
And then that's right, we'll come down and we'll have breakfast. And yes, you can have your Winnie the Pooh plate. That's right.
That's always there for you, isn't it? And after breakfast, yes, that's right, that then is we're going to have some crafting time. That's right. Crafting time.
That's what we have, don't we? After breakfast tomorrow, I think, yes, we're going to be, yep, we'll we'll keep on cutting and pasting all those things that you were going to do right up until snack. And you see right, okay, you see where I'm going with this. And it might be something unexpected is happening.
And that's the that's the brilliant part about previewing because it something a little bit different might be coming up tomorrow. So you might say something to a child like, yes, tomorrow after kindergarten, after after school, that's right. Yes, you're going to go to James's house to play, but James's daddy is coming to pick you up and he will be driving that big red pickup truck.
Do you remember that one? Yes, it is. There is lots of cluttery things in it, isn't there? But it's fun to get set up. So, yes, to sit up so high and you'll go back to James's rather than OK, so rather than saying, yeah, well, tomorrow, I can't pick you up tomorrow, but James's dad will be picking you up.
That doesn't bring the child into a picture of it. And you might even go further and say, and when you get to James's house, what are your favorite things to do? That's right, I remembered that, too. He has a big rope swing, doesn't he? That's what you're going to ask to play on that straight away.
That's a good idea. That's a very good idea. So what you're doing when you preview pictorially like this is that you're bringing a child into a whole different part of their being.
A child's memory largely, to a good extent, is held by pictures. It's not held by the executive brain, the frontal lobes. It's not held because that's hardly developed for a younger child.
Like we do on a good day, our memory is a part of this big picture that we can form of the day. Not so for a little one. And when we preview pictorially like this, they can hold it.
They can actually grasp it. They can recall it. They can live with it.
It's almost like they're tasting it. And they join with you. And if you try this out or if you already do this or do it more intentionally, one of those, you can tell that they enjoy it because they join in.
It's almost like they're joining in a song, but they're joining in a story and they'll co-create it with you. And you know when a child is co-creating something like that, you know that it's warming their heart. You know that it's settling in inside them.
And in that way, you can give them this more warm picture which settles down their nervous system. It's warm. It's creative.
It's simply just a part of the child's world. And they then look forward to the preview of the day because it's like mommy or daddy or grandma, grandpa, whoever it is, you know, the adult in the child's life is actually entering in and flowing alongside them. Now there's one more thing about the story of tomorrow is that when we tell the story of tomorrow and we are picturing it, what we're doing is that we're deeply connecting with a child because we've got an inner picture within us.
The child's got that inner picture with him, her or them. The child has that picture. And we are very much moving forward through the day tomorrow.
And it's a point of connection, just a little one, but it's a it's a lovely one. And it gives us a time each day to ensure that, usually it's at the end of the day, isn't it, that that connection is strengthened just that little bit. And for us also, the second benefit is that it maybe helps us a little bit with our anxiety about tomorrow, because when we picture it and we picture, you know, James or Miguel's daddy with the big red truck, we're going into our limbic system of our brain as well, partly limbic system, and we're picturing as well.
And if we're picturing, a little child kind of knows that, a little child picks that up, that we're settled down in what we're doing, because the moment we start picturing and we settle down, a child is sensing that they settle down. And then they also then can absorb the picture of tomorrow and that any chance that a child being in fight or flight, any chance of the anxiety levels rising about tomorrow, have largely been eased by the story of tomorrow. OK, I sure hope that is helpful.
Don't forget, if there's ever a time you want to talk about your family and your children individually with me, you can go right to our website, Simplicity Parenting, and you'll see it right there. Request a consult and I'll reply back to you right away. OK, that's it for now.
Bye bye.
