Hello and welcome back to the Simplicity Diaries with me, Kim John-Payne. So glad you could join us for this last part of the reading of Annika's story from the book Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens. You might remember last week Annika was very much caught between an old friend or a friend she'd originally made who she'd quickly left behind in order to be a part of the popular girls.
And this week in the final part of this story it kind of comes full circle back. You'll hear more about this as we go. So we pick up the story where the pieces that were broken through the being caught cheating on a test and Annika's abandoning, you know, like denying that they were a part of it, which wasn't true.
Now there's a full kind of abandonment of them and then there's an upswing at the end of this. You'll hear about this. It's not all totally depressing and this is a real story.
This is, again, this is not a made-up story. This really did happen. Persona non grata.
At school I was assigned 40 community service hours, clean up at the cafeteria and on the grounds and other odd jobs that kept me after school four days a week. Worst of all, Mr Swenson told me that I'd have to work super hard and do really well for the rest of the term just to pass the class and avoid having to do retakes in the summer. I also got the deep freeze treatment from the others.
No one said anything definitive like, we're done with you, but they basically ghosted me. No one answered my texts and DMs and at school it was like I didn't exist. Whenever I walked towards them they turned their heads and just walked away.
At one point in the cafeteria I spotted the four of them giggling excitedly. This is my best chance, I thought. They all seemed to be in a good mood.
I went up to them and they suddenly went silent. Hi, I said, but they all stood there staring at one another and said nothing. But the message came in loud and clear, you're not wanted.
I walked away trembling, wishing the ground would just open up and swallow me. I wasn't just being shunned, I'd been banished. Being frozen out by B&Co so publicly made it unquestionably clear to everyone else, stay away from Annika, she's not cool.
No one else talked to me. I was so lonely. Maybe I was being melodramatic, but it was the worst week of my life.
I'd given up so much to be accepted by B&Co and now without them I felt like a total zero. There was no place to go, no one to hang out with. I basically hit rock bottom.
The following Monday I was sitting in the library, the only place I felt relatively shield and rejected, when I spotted Danielle coming in with one of her friends. I hadn't seen Danielle around the campus much during free time for a while. I wondered if this maybe was why she hung out most of the time with others and kept a low profile.
She walked right up to me and said, hey Annika, I heard what happened in math, are you okay? Not really, I replied, they're blaming me for everything, even though they egged me on. Yeah, I figured as much. That didn't sound like something you would ever do.
I didn't do it Danielle, I stole the answers, but you're right, it's not, it's just not me at all. I met up with Danielle later that day at the bus pickup. She shared her granola bar with me as we talked about her music and my writing.
She was so funny and sweet and she made me almost forget everything that was going on. A couple of hours later I got a text from her, see you tomorrow girl. Just four words, but what a difference they made.
I had a friend again, I felt almost like semi-normal and with Danielle I knew I didn't have to put on this cool girl act, I could just be me. Don't get me wrong, I still missed being one of the it girls. We were cute and popular, every girl wanted to be like us, every boy wanted to hang out with us and I craved that feeling of belonging and being at the center of everything.
Maybe I was foolish or too hopeful or just a glutton for punishment, but a few days later at recess I approached Bea and Co. one more time. Hi guys, I said hesitantly.
Utter silence, after an almost interminable pause, Bea looked me in the eyes with her hands slid down onto her hips and she said, yes, can we help you? I stuttered, I couldn't think of what else to say. Fascinating, Bea replied and then turned on her heels and walked away with Chiara and Avery in tow. Doesn't she get the hint? Bea said, just loud enough for me to overhear.
The others laughed, everyone except Skylar who just stood there looking a little sad. No, I don't, I said loudly, not really, whatever, I'll be fine. And I swung around and walked away, feeling shaky but glad I stood up for myself.
I felt like I'd been true to myself for the first time since school started. But my heart sank when I saw they'd turned the corner. That was just about the meanest thing they could do to me after I'd been a real friend to them.
Act as if I was worthless, a nothing person. It was also pretty much exactly the way Queen Bea had treated Danielle when she tried to join our group for the first week of school. We'd all acted like such spineless, pliant little biets.
Danielle had done nothing to deserve such a cruel brush-off. Well, I figured, if Danielle could handle the heartless public rejection, then so could I. At home that night, I wondered why Skylar hadn't joined in with the others. And then I thought some more, and honestly, I couldn't remember one time when Skylar had been mean or harsh the way Bea, Ciara and Avery could be.
Skylar was an integral part of the group, but she got quiet when the other girls got mean. I guess I'd just gotten so caught up in things, I hadn't noticed this before. Starting over, one friendship at a time.
I decided to figure out a way to talk with Skylar the next day, just one-to-one. The moment came in an advanced Spanish class we shared. Everyone else from the group was in lower Spanish.
When Skylar entered the class, she walked by my desk and she said, Hi. I felt a surge of hope. Hi, I replied.
I wasn't exactly totally invisible after all. At the end of the class, as I was packing my books, I noticed Skylar hung back. When I was about to leave, she came up alongside me.
Look, Annika, I don't agree with what Bea and the others did. It wasn't fair and it really, it really wasn't true. That's okay, Skylar, I replied.
No, no, it's not. I feel really bad about it and about a lot of other things too. What's that? I asked, pointing to a pad with a half-visible drawing on it and it was a little bit sort of poking out so I could see it.
Oh, just a doodle of mine. Can I see it? I asked. Sure.
Whoa, that is way more than a doodle. That's beautiful. She'd drawn a picture of three horses galloping across a field.
I didn't know you were such a good artist, I said. Thank you, Annika, Skylar beamed. It's just like a hobby to take my mind off things.
Do you want to get away from all this crazy stuff and come over to my house tomorrow? I'd love that, I said. Hey, would you be okay if if we invited Danielle too? Definitely. I really like Danielle, I added, and I don't like the way we all treated her.
Me neither. I discovered that Skylar wasn't all that exclusive about friendships. She was definitely a part of the bee crowd, but she was also okay with hanging out with me and Danielle.
She didn't let bee lord it over her like the others. I really appreciated her free-spiritedness. One day I asked her outright, how do you do it? Do what? Skylar asked.
Hang out with the cool crowd without getting swallowed up in all of it, with being popular and all that stuff. Well, it's not always easy, she confessed, but a few other things have helped me along the way, I guess. Some I learned on my own, others my older sisters told me, or yeah, my mum too.
Like what? I asked. I was interested. I like being with with bee and the others, but when they get snarky or mean towards other kids, I just I just don't join in.
I don't like putting other people down. It makes me feel bad. Oh, me too, I said.
Also, we all dress kind of alike. You could say, but you could say that, but I make sure to keep my own style too, like my scarves. I love your scarves, I said.
And my mum tells me, and my sisters one thing over and over, you don't have to choose. What do you mean? I said. You can be a part of a group and also be friendly with other people.
If bee told me I wasn't allowed to speak to others, I'd be so over her. I wouldn't let her or anyone else do that to me. Yeah, you're right.
That doesn't make any sense at all. And another thing, I like doing the stuff we all do together as a, like as a group, Skylar said. But I also like doing other things, like, you know, you're good at sewing.
You guys, those guys don't sew at all. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't sew, right? Definitely not, I nodded. I really like the fact that Skylar could be such a dedicated friend to Bee and Ciara and Avery, but also hold her own as well.
She didn't need to change who she was in order to fit in with them. She held onto her own values, things like her mum and her older sister had taught her. And that kept her cool, a kind rather than cool and cruel, like some others.
I learned so much from talking to her and the way she treated people. Anyway, from that point on, things got better at school. And even though Skylar ended up at another high school, we are both headed for college now.
We've stayed in touch all this time. I didn't see Bee, Avery or Ciara at all, and I still don't see them. But as strange as it might sound, I don't hold any grudges against them.
I hope they're doing well too. We were all kind of young and a bit foolish, I guess. Middle school can be tough and sometimes we do things we regret later.
I certainly did. I wish I'd been stronger and stayed true to myself from the beginning, but I guess that's okay too. Because in the end, I figured out that when you follow your own path, you kind of end up where you're supposed to be.
And Danielle, we're still best friends. To all the newbie middle schoolers who feel that their inside and outside worlds are drifting too far apart, here's my simple advice. Take risks.
Try to make new friends, but also stay true to yourself. And if a friendship fades, as hard as that may be, it's for the best. And if it doesn't, cherish it.
Hold it close. You know, you've found someone who likes you for who you are, and you'll know it, because you don't have to be someone you're not. Whatever you do, don't get swallowed up by a click.
Look for someone you can connect with, and within time and attention and care, you build a true friendship. So, you know, what this story was about is, of course, about feeling lonely and left out, and that's where it sort of begins, but fairly quickly finding a place. But that place was at the expense of Anika being herself.
And just discovering that there's another whole way to go about it. I think this is the core of this story of being lost. And then, and then finding yourself.
And I sure hope that's been useful, helpful, and strikes a chord for you. Okay, that's it for this short little series of readings. All right, bye bye for now.
